i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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