Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
