I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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