Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
