can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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