dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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