Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
