Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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