I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
should my penis look like a turkey
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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