I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
