Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
