Where did you get a picture of my penis
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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