vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
