dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
