It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize