My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
