My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
