what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
