i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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