im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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