I hate your face
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
