how can u be prego again
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
