Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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