I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize