Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
