You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
