i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
