he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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