Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize