yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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