just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
