FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She even gives head with a lisp.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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