I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
