RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
