Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
