Me too!
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
