He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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