He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
