we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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