i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
My pussy is not your playground.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
