its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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