College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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