It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
