im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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