It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
