There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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