yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
