East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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