remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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