On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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