conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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