lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
