I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
