Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Randomize
