I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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