READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
