..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
she told me i tasted like america
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
