Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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