ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
my sisters under your porch take her home
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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