All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
