Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I touched a dick in church today
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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