Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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