This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
