I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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