Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
how can u be prego again
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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