You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
