She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize