So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
