somebody snuck up and got me drunk
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
i've created a new STD.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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