party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Sorry my hands just texted you
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Randomize
