i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
