Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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