420 ftw
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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