I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
