I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize