Your face is a jimmy john
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
