Soap is not a condiment
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Actions speak louder than pants.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Let's get the cat blown out
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
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