I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
