Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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