please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
