i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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